


Fireteam Daybreak: Guilt

by TheShadowsmiths



Series: Fireteam Daybreak [10]
Category: Destiny (Video Game)
Genre: FireteamDaybreak, destinythegame - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-10
Updated: 2017-02-10
Packaged: 2018-11-12 07:36:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,066
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11157243
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheShadowsmiths/pseuds/TheShadowsmiths
Summary: In the wake of Andal's death, Jynn does what she thinks is best for the Vanguard.





	Fireteam Daybreak: Guilt

**Author's Note:**

> **Find this on Bungie.net** : [Bungie.net](https://www.bungie.net/en/Forums/Post/222082156)  
>  **Deviantart** : http://fav.me/dayk6yw  
>  **Tumblr** : <http://fireteam-daybreak.tumblr.com/post/157050087028/guilt>

A heavy palm slammed down the thick, worn scraps of leather onto the tabletop across from him and pulled away as the owner stood upright and looked at him from across the war table with unwavering green eyes and a stiffness in her posture. This wasn’t the first time this symbol had been thrown back like this ( _though it had been a while_ ) so he knew what would come next, but he still wasn't prepared. Cayde locked his jaw and stared long and hard at the cloak as Jynn said the four words he’d hoped he’d never have to hear again. 

“I’m leaving the Shadowsmiths,” she stated without reservations. 

His voice caught before he could protest. “Jynn please, can we talk about this-”

“I can’t do this anymore.”

It had been eight days since they’d moved against Taniks the Scarred and were left with a grim reminder of just how fragile a Guardian’s life could be. Nine lost forever- three of her own, five she knew but wasn’t familiar with, and the one man not one among them believed could be taken by anyone other than _God himself_ , if he existed to begin with. Their Guardian Angel was gone, and now Cayde stood in his place, reading his logs, giving his orders, _wearing his cloak_... had she been more careful, a little less pre-emptive, he’d still be with them. 

Cayde remained thoughtful as he watched her being eaten alive by her own guilt and wondered what he could say, what he _should_ say. He was certain he couldn’t tell her a damn thing that she’d already heard ten times over from people who only wanted to help console her in her grief and yet, he felt like maybe if she heard it one more time she’d change her mind- or maybe it would drive her away indefinitely. 

His shutters and brow lowered in melancholic disapproval that spoke of how he knew there was no stopping her. One hand reached across the table and he curled his fingers into the clump of canvas that made up the hood and the neck scarf and he looked down as he took it in both hands and laid it in front of him across the pages of Andal’s notes on Taniks, which he’d been reading through before she’d arrived. His voice was soft, apologetic. “You know... we’re all hurting, but this...?” He shook his head and chuckled as quiet as he could. “This is the last thing I need to be dealing with right now. We’ve already lost _so many of us_ since Twilight Gap, what I really need is experienced leadership. I need you _here_ , please... I need your help.”

“ _Help_!?” Jynn would have laughed had she not been so inconsolable. “You want me to _lead_... after what happened? All the people that died because of _my mistakes_!?”

“We’ve all made mistakes, we just can’t let ‘em define us.”

“People are _dead_ Cayde, has that sunk in yet?” she asked callously. “ _They’re not coming back_.”

Cayde’s fans sighed, his cheeks flashed orange as eyes lifted to look at her. “ _It’s not your fault_ ,” he insisted sympathetically. 

“Don’t tell me it wasn’t my fault,” she nearly hissed, lips curled to a snarl. “ _Nine_ Ghosts, _nine_ Guardians- their deaths are on me.”

“Guardians die Jynn, it’s a reality we have to accept.”

“No, Guardians die under incompetent leadership,” she said as she fussed with a neck scarf her Ghost had just transmatted into her hands. “I’m not someone you want leading what precious Guardians we have left into another fight like that.”

“You weren’t the only one leading a fireteam that day.”

Fingers knotted the hankerchief behind her neck and pulled at the fabric until it was comfortable in a pile around her neck, one corner of the green scarf stamped with a white symbol of the twin eagles. “No, just the one that fucked up.”

“So you’re sending yourself into self-inflicted seclusion?”

“Trust me, it’s better this way.”

“You mean better for _you_ ,” he replied with a frown. Cayde knew what she was going through- in many ways he blamed himself for Andal’s death, all of them irrational but hardly able to be discredited by the algorithms drawing those conclusions. The last thing she needed right now was to be alone. 

Jynn’s lips pulled tight in response and he swiped the cloak off the table, which shifted paper around the room and out of order, held it up in one hand between them and looked her dead in the eye for several moments until he was sure she wasn’t going to just walk out on him. 

“Then don’t lead,” he tried again. “But don’t leave either. You need support just like the rest of us, so let us do that... let us help you.”

“I don’t need help, I just need space,” she admitted as she gave him a pained look. “I know you need the help but I’ll be of no use to you as I am.”

“But-”

Finally, she lifted a hand and stepped away from the table toward the stairs. “ _Please_... don’t try to stop me.”

His hand lowered again to the table and his shoulders sank as it finally settled in that he wasn’t going to be able to change her mind. “... what about the Vanguard?” he asked fearfully, unsure if he wanted to know the answer.

“What about it?”

“Will you still help the Vanguard?”

Jynn’s eyes lowered to him from the top of the stairs and she gave a weak smile. “I’m leaving the Shadowsmiths, I didn’t say anything about the Vanguard...”

Cayde sighed in relief, eyes flickering over to her. “But you’re leaving the tower?”

“I’ll scout what I can and report back when I have something of interest.”

He nodded in agreement. it was an acceptable compromise. “As long as you’re checkin’ in from time to time.”

“I won’t be far,” she promised half-heartedly as she started toward Shaxx’s side of the hall. 

“Hey Jynn...?”

The exo paused without looking over her shoulder but he knew she was listening. Eye contact was never one of her strong suits.

“Good hunting.”

The huntress was quiet and still for a few moments before one hand dropped to the canon on her thigh and traced the handle in idle thought before gripping it tight and continuing on her way out. 

“Light be with you, Cayde.”


End file.
